I am not happy

This is my first blog and I dont even read the blogs so often. So please pardon me if I make some mistake.

Today!!! most of the infoscions (including me) got their hike letters. I din't excatly get to know the reactions of the people towards the hike as I am working in night shift. My bad luck that I could not meet many people to record their reactions in my mind. Anyhow, I know my hike and I would say its a decent one. But I am not happy still. May be because earlier in the morning today, things din't turned the way I wanted them to be. So that means I am not unhappy because of hike as I already said its a decent one. Though I could have got a role change given that my DM would have taken the exception for me seeing my good performance and CRR. For those who are not part of infy I would like to explain the terms DM and CRR. DM means a delivery manager who is powerful enough to take many big decisions. CRR is a rating system in infosys which they use to piss off their employees. Any how lets come back to our topic. So inspite of not getting a promotion, still I would say my unhappiness is not because of things related to my hike or pormotion.
May be I dont know what I want to do in future. May be at this point of time I am unable to decide what should I do now. That means I am confused now. Sometimes I think that I know what I want to do and sometimes I ought to find difficult to get any motivation from within myself to achieve my goal. People in my age have lots of aspirations, they have lot of zeal to start of new work, they know how to take care of themselves, they match their steps with the ever moving world. Does that mean that I have built in a negativity inside me that is not allowing me to get motivated even after looking at my friends, peers around?
Sometimes I think that I dont know who am I and what I want from my life. Is this the way the life has to be? So monotonous and so mean that nobody care for others. Am I really made to work in software industry or its just a matter of my ill fate that I am in this industry. Got my engineering degree in Electronics and communication engineering (ECE) and that I wanted to do my engineering in ECE only. But while doing my degree, I was bored of it. ECE dint excited me even a bit. The algorithms and derivations gave me nightmares those days. As there were not much opportunities in that field I got into software. I dint even tried to look for a decent job in my specialization. So does that mean that I gave up without even trying once? Or this proves that I dont know what I want to do, what I want to achieve? Am I confused?
I dont know why suddenly I thought of writing all this here. May be because I am in night shift and I dont have much to do. Anywayz just some thoughts of mine.